I Was Pushed

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July 30, 2005

That old lady

When I was growing up I had the pleasure of meeting many elderly ladies (Aunt Billie, Miss Gertrude, Mrs. Pettit to name a few) who had gone through lives filled with remarkable joys, unbearable hardships, and quiet losses. Instead of becoming hardened to the world because of the sometimes brief yet difficult circumstances that they endured, their faces softened in all the right places. Their smiles were meaningful and above all their faith was grounded in a powerful relationship with their Father that molded their endurance of hardships into peace and somehow, joy.

One particular lady stands out in my mind. Eleanor Phillips Hammond. My grandmother. She grew up in the church and went to every function. Life had not been what she had anticipated as a young girl in a fresh century. By the age of 70, she was abrasive, bitter and I think controlling. Even though she had always been in the church, she did not know Christ. That year, her 70th, she met her savior. The sins that had so easily entangled began to melt away. The people who knew her before she was transformed remember a very different lady than I do. She softened over the next three years. The Spirit softened her. She had endured so much and finally the purpose was clear to her. She was able to enjoy life and especially God. I think she impressed an attitude of worship in me. So much was accomplished in just three short years.

I vaguely remember when she passed away. I do remember that she sang “Jesus, What a Friend for Sinners” that night and that she was happy.

I guess that I have been realizing that none of us get to be that really cool old lady who rests in God for every need unless we have learned that we need only Him. An easy life would seem empty by comparison with little endured and gained from loss. Not that anyone wants hardships. But, the hardships are there to mold us. Usually the process of enduring has no glory and takes all our guts as well as sacrifices of grace and mercy fom those around us.

I hope that one day as I sit quietly, having lived God’s 'Plan A' for my life to the full, that a someone will whisper to their little one, the way I have done to my own, that God used my life to encourage them. I won’t ever need to know about that. This will be the one time that I will have no need for affirmation. (And I love affirmation!). By then the only affirmation I will want to hear is “well done my good and faithful servant.”

And yes, I am often fearful of the hardships that wait ahead of me, that must be endured, that I know nothing about how to handle. I still want to think about being that really cool old lady with all that mess behind me and my savior before me.

Addition:
Two people close to me have reminded me that hardships are not only for our own good but also for others journeying alongside us. It is a blessing to have family and friends who can help lighten the load and who will grow through their willingness to come alongside ("ezer") as much as the one to whom they are helping. A needed reminder that invokes humilty and peace further.

| By Leda | 07:25 PM

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Posted by: Jayne Lea at August 2, 2005 09:43 PM

Posted by: Jayne Lea at August 3, 2005 08:17 PM

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